Report: 32% Of Prayers Deflected Off Passing Satellites

HOUSTON—According to an official NASA report released Saturday, nearly 32 percent of all prayers exiting Earth are deflected off satellites orbiting the planet—ultimately preventing the discharged requests for divine intervention from ever making it to the Gates of Heaven. "After impact with the satellite, these diverted prayers typically plummet back into the atmosphere, where they either burn up or eventually land, unanswered, in a body of water," the report read in part. "Of the remaining prayers, research confirms 64 percent fail to make it past the stratosphere because they aren't prayed hard enough, 94 percent of those with enough momentum are swallowed by a supermassive black hole at the center of the Milky Way galaxy, and 43 percent are eaten by birds." The report concluded that, of the 170 billion prayers issued last month, one made it to God, whose reply was intercepted by a hurricane and incorrectly delivered to a Nigerian man who reportedly did not know what to do with his brand-new Bowflex machine.

Webcomics

Two great webcomics from Cectic and xkcd today. One dealing with creationism nonesense and the other is just funny.

British Humor is Great

Even an Obamaphile like me can find this amusing.

My Favorite

George Carlin gets it right as usual:

Update: Here is another section of the same special which is also quite relevant. Although I haven't seen it all yet I recommend watching the whole thing, which starts here with part one (I certainly plan to when I find the time) because George is the best. Please don't ever retire George!

Living in a Dream

Great comic at Cectic today.